My Dork Sister and I 😉
We’ve all had those moments when someone says or does something that makes you feel like you’re seconds away from flipping a table and auditioning for the next season of Unhinged Housewives. Staying calm when you're being tested isn’t easy—but it can be done.
How? Well, let me take you back to my childhood for a second.
Mornings in my house were an experience. My sister was often assigned the task of waking me up for school. Now, you might assume she did this with soft whispers or a gentle shake. Nope. Not even close. She had a signature move: The Hairbrush Wake-Up Smackdown.
The Hairbrush attack lady (my sister)
Here’s how it went: She’d sneak off to her room, grab her hairbrush (because apparently, hair tools double as alarm clocks?), march back into my room, and WACK WACK WACK!—right on top of my warm, cozy, blissfully unaware body. The blankets got it. I got it. And before I even processed the trauma, I’d be up and laughing, adrenaline fully activated.
And you know what? It worked. As much as I hated it in the moment, I often think about how helpful it would be to have that kind of jolt these days. Because sometimes, you don’t need a gentle wake-up call—you need a metaphorical hairbrush to the blankets to snap you out of your emotional funk.
So here it is—your personal wake-up smack to help you handle those “why are you testing me?” situations:
My sister and I dressed to kill Hawaiian party Circa 1999
1. The “Hold Up, Am I About to Flip a Table?” Pause
When you feel your blood pressure rising faster than your group chat during drama, just mentally yell: “BRB, loading...” Give yourself a beat. Imagine yourself as a buffering YouTube video—awkward, but necessary.
Funny Reminder: Would you rather say something calm or spend the next week replaying how you told them their opinion is as useful as a screen door on a submarine?
This is your hairbrush moment. Pause. Reset. Then proceed.
2. The “Is It Me, Am I the Drama?” Self-Check
Before you go full Hulk mode, ask yourself: “Why does this feel like they just punched my emotional kidney?”
Are they actually being awful, or did they just remind you of the time Karen in 3rd grade stole your crayons and your faith in humanity?
Bonus Tip: Picture them as a cartoon villain—it helps take the sting out of their nonsense. And remember: not every villain needs a hero’s reaction.
3. “Let Me Not Roast You Just Yet” Breather
Ah, the power of the pause. When you feel like verbally setting someone ablaze, stop. Breathe like you're in that hot yoga class you only went to once. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your imaginary frustration horn.
Quick Hack: Whisper to yourself: “Is this the hill I want to die on, or can I just sarcastically say ‘cool story’ and move on?”
Remember, life is too short to waste energy on every tiny fire. Save your roasts for the kitchen.
4. “I Feel Like Setting You on Fire... But Here’s What I’ll Say Instead”
Sometimes people test you just to get a reaction. So instead of handing them a front-row seat to your meltdown, try this:
“I feel like I need a manual to understand you right now, but here’s where I’m at...”
Or: “Help me out—why does this feel like you’re trying to audition for my villain origin story?”
Humor disarms, but honesty lands. Plus, if you stay calm, you get to leave knowing you won the interaction by simply not losing it.
5. “Sure, I’ll Help You... But Also, Please Get It Together”
Helping someone understand your side of things doesn’t mean babysitting their emotional circus. You can set boundaries without being a jerk. Try:
“I get where you’re coming from, but my emotional warranty doesn’t cover this level of nonsense.”
Or: “I care about you, but my sanity just texted—she’s begging me to take a break.”
Boundaries: because some people need to know that you love them, but not enough to lose your mind.
6. “Exit Stage Left”
If you’ve tried it all and they’re still pushing your buttons like a toddler on a toy piano, it’s time to go. Channel your inner diva and peace out like you’ve got somewhere better to be (because you do).
Exit Scripts:
“This scene is over. Director? Next scene, please.”
Or: “I’m choosing peace...and snacks. Goodbye.”
Because walking away is often the most satisfying plot twist.
The Hairbrush Moral of the Story
My lovely sister
Life—and people—are going to get under your skin sometimes. It’s inevitable. And yeah, you can sit around waiting for motivation to show up like a well-mannered British butler. Or you can embrace the hairbrush philosophy: Get up. Get going. Get over the drama.
No one’s coming to wake you up. No one’s bringing you the perfect mindset on a silver platter. The metaphorical hairbrush is yours to swing. So next time someone tests your patience, remember:
You’ve survived worse. (And maybe worse included a sibling with a hairbrush.) Now go handle it like a pro.
