Take a moment after reading this to reflect where your life is,
PLEASE.
I’ve spent… honestly… most of my life
comparing myself to other people.
What they have.
How they act.
How confident they seem.
How effortless everything looks for them.
And the big one…
what they might think about me if I do something different.
If I say the wrong thing.
If I try something new.
If I go for something that feels… just slightly outside of who I’ve been.
It’s like I’ve been living in this constant, invisible group chat…
where everyone’s watching…
and no one’s actually typing.
And the weirdest part is…
I don’t even know if anyone’s really paying attention.
But I’ve been acting like they are.
And that kind of thinking…
it’ll keep you small.
It’ll keep you safe.
But it’ll also keep you stuck.
Because when you’re constantly measuring yourself against other people…
you start chasing things that don’t even belong to you.
You want what they have…
but you don’t always understand what it took to get there.
Or what they had to give up along the way.
And here’s the shift that’s been hitting me lately…
It’s actually okay to want what other people have.
That part isn’t the problem.
The problem is thinking you can have it…
without giving anything in return.
Because everything…
literally everything in life…
is some kind of trade.
Not always money.
In fact, rarely money.
It’s time.
It’s energy.
It’s effort.
It’s consistency when no one’s watching.
It’s being kind when it would be easier not to be.
It’s showing up…
again and again and again…
even when you’re tired…
even when you’re doubting yourself…
even when it feels like nothing is happening.
And here’s where it gets almost… strange.
Because when I look back at my life…
I realize something that I never really noticed before.
20-year-old me…
he had dreams. Big ones.
Things he thought would take forever to reach.
And somehow…
he got them.
25-year-old me…
same thing. Different dreams.
Different version of life he was chasing.
He got them too.
30-year-old me…
same story.
And now I’m sitting here thinking…
the next version of me…
he’s probably going to get everything he wants as well.
And it makes you pause for a second…
Because you start asking…
How?
How does that keep happening?
And the answer isn’t some big breakthrough moment.
It’s not one decision.
It’s not luck.
It’s all the small things I didn’t even realize I was doing.
It’s the time I gave.
The energy I gave.
The conversations.
The effort.
The moments where I chose to be kind instead of indifferent.
The times I showed up for people…
even when I didn’t feel like it.
The little gestures.
The surprise coffees.
The checking in on someone.
The remembering something small about someone’s day.
All of it.
And not because I was expecting anything back.
But because it felt right.
Because somewhere deep down…
I think I knew that being that kind of person…
was building something.
Even if I couldn’t see it yet.
And then… the other day…
I had one of those moments where it all just… clicked.
It was chaos at work.
One of those days where everything is loud, fast, and slightly overwhelming.
You’re moving nonstop…
but it still feels like you’re falling behind.
And in the middle of all that…
I mentioned something small.
Just something I was craving.
Didn’t think twice about it.
Didn’t expect anything from it.
Just a passing comment.
And Michelle and Kramer were there.
They heard it…
and they just kind of smiled and carried on with their morning.
Nothing special.
Or so I thought.
About an hour later…
they came back.
And they had it.
The exact thing I mentioned.
For me.
And it genuinely stopped me for a second.
Because it wasn’t just the food.
It was the fact that…
for that entire time…
they were thinking about me.
They didn’t have to.
I didn’t ask them to.
There was no reason… no obligation.
But they did it anyway.
And in that moment…
it just hit me…
That’s the trade.
All those little things you give out into the world…
they don’t disappear.
They move.
They land.
They grow in places you can’t see.
And sometimes…
they come back to you in the exact moment you need them most.
Not because you were owed something.
But because you’ve been building something…
without even realizing it.
And it made me realize something else too…
You don’t have to constantly look sideways
to figure out if you’re doing life right.
You don’t need to measure yourself against everyone else.
Because the version of you from five years ago…
would probably look at your life right now…
and think you made it.
And the version of you five years from now…
he’s already on his way.
And he’s getting there…
because of what you’re doing today.
Not the comparisons.
Not the overthinking.
The giving.
The showing up.
The effort.
The kindness.
So yeah…
it’s okay to want what other people have.
Just remember…
You don’t arrive there by comparison.
You arrive there by contribution.
Sincerely the long form nonsensical poet of your community. Todd
